


Jaehwan’s First Time

by althoseok



Category: VIXX
Genre: Bottom!Jaehwan, Homosexual, M/M, Sex, Top!Hakyeon, blowjob, virgin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 22:41:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12592132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/althoseok/pseuds/althoseok
Summary: In which Jaehwan comes out to Hakyeon as gay and Hakyeon offers to help him out.





	Jaehwan’s First Time

It had been difficult for Lee Jaehwan to hide his sexuality from his members. He found himself isolated from the rest because of his secret. Whenever VIXX did something, he would always be in the back. At the dorms he was always in his bedroom, trying to calm down from his busy life and all the obstacles he faced every day. God probably hated him so He put him in the kinkiest group out there.

He was there when Hakyeon came out as bisexual to the group fairly early on and everyone had been very supportive and respectful about it but Jaehwan could never collect that much courage. His secret would have to be kept by five other souls, no way he was going to take such a big risk.

So here he is, sitting in his bedroom by himself, again. A knock is heard on the door. "Come in!" he responds. The door opens and Hakyeon reveales himself. "You can't just sit here all day, Jaehwan.. Join us, be quiet and do nothing for all that I care but please come sit with us." he says, sounding genuinely concerned about him. Jaehwan just sighs and shakes his head. Hakyeon enters the room and closes the door behind him. "Something's clearly bothering you, tell me." he says as he sits down next to Jaehwan.

Jaehwan sighs again, he's really not in the mood for a conversation like this. "Jaehwan please, you haven't been yourself for months and even the fans have started to notice.." Hakyeon tells him, placing a hand on his thigh in an effort to comfort him. Unfortunately, it does everything but comfort him. He flinches at the touch, making it way too obvious that he doesn't want the hand there. Hakyeon pulls his hand back hesitantly. "Jaehwan.. I really need to know what's going on, there's clearly something really bothering you." Hakyeon says, this time with a warning tone in his voice.

Jaehwan wonders if now is the right time. It's Hakyeon who's talking to him right now, he would understand because he might know what Jaehwan's feeling right now.

“I-I.. Okay promise that you won't get mad at me or something like that.." Jaehwan begins. Hakyeon shakes his head wildly. "I would never if it's something serious, which it clearly is." Jaehwan takes in a deep breath as he gathers all the courage in himself he could possibly gather. It's not much, but if he doesn't tell anyone soon he'll probably end up in a worse place.

"I.. I like men.." he says, barely audible. Hakyeon did hear him though. "Y-you're..?" he stutters, Jaehwan's words catching him off guard. Jaehwan nods. "Gay. Yes, I am gay." he says, a little louder and more confident now. He's still sitting on his bed like a hopeless person, nearly in a fetal position, so that confidence almost seems misplaced.

Jaehwan didn't really know what to expect from Hakyeon but he certainly did not expect a hug. Hakyeon pulls Jaehwan into his arms and smiles. "Thank you for trusting me so much to tell me this. Welcome to the club kiddo." he says while he rubs his back with his hand. Jaehwan smiles, a big weight falling off his shoulders. Tears form in his eyes and before he knows it he's crying onto Hakyeon's shoulder. All the built up stress and anxiety are leaving his body at once causing him to sob uncontrollably. It's a relief, a very big relief, that he now has someone he can talk to about his life and someone who knows what's going on. Hakyeon rocks him in his arms while he thinks back to the day when he came out as bisexual.

_It was a Tuesday evening in February. It was cold at the dorm and everyone had gathered on the couches of the dorm and had put blankets over each other since their heaters had died a few days earlier and no one had come to fix them yet. Hakyeon played with his fingers, a certain thing lingering on his mind. How was he going to be a good leader if his members didn't know who he truly was? He wasn't afraid of their reactions since he knew they looked up at him and would love him no matter what._

_So he cleared his throat, catching everyone's attention. "I want to tell you guys something." he said, looking at all the members individually. Some nodded, others just looked back and waited for him to continue. "It's something I've known for a long time but was in no position to share with others for a long time due to our debut and the growing attention in the media. I've decided that now is the time to tell you guys because I believe you deserve to know." he says, still looking at his members. He sighs shakily, knowing that it's now or never. "I'm attracted to both men and women. I'm bisexual." he finally says, bringing his gaze back to his fingers, not really wanting to see the first reactions as the news hits his members. Wonshik is the first one to speak up. "Hyung, it's okay. I'm glad you told us." he says, smiling at Hakyeon to assure it really is okay. Hakyeon looks up and smiles back, a weight lifting from his shoulders. Taekwoon nods, agreeing with Wonshik. Jaehwan stays quiet, something he rarely does, but Hakyeon decides to ignore it, assuming that he might be feeling a little out of it today. Hongbin smiles, his dimples visible. "Somehow I've always known. Thank you for telling us." he says. Hakyeon chuckles. He hasn't really been hiding his sexuality either so it's a surprise that not more people have noticed. Sanghyuk laughs. "Remember when we were practicing that time and he choked on his water when Hongbin and Wonshik took off their shirts." he recalls. Hakyeon feels his cheeks glow up and tries to hide it by being himself. "Ya, what did you expect? They could've given me a heads up." he jokes, secretly very happy that they're teasing him and not hating on him. The others laugh with him and everything feels right, like they had always known and nothing had changed, which was partially true. Nothing had indeed changed, Hakyeon was still the same person after all. After a few minutes the mood went serious again, all of them staying quiet in their own thoughts. "How did you plan on keeping this private? I mean, we will all not tell anyone else of course, but there's always a chance someone finds out and leaks it to the media." Hongbin says, asking a very important question. Hakyeon bites his bottom lip while he thinks about it. "Well, of course there will be a risk of someone finding out but I am who I am so if it happens to leak to the press then so be it. I'm not going to live a big lie and I certainly won't hide in fear of it getting out, I'm in an idol group for that matter, hiding isn't even an option." he answers. Hongbin nods, understanding it. "Hyung, please know that we'll be here for you no matter what. You will always have us on your side." Taekwoon says, saying the words Hakyeon most needed to hear right now. Hakyeon smiles. He hasn't been this happy for a while now._

_"Thank you, it means a lot to me. I will never leave your sides either. You can always count on me." he says as he crawls further under the blanket on top of him. He couldn't have been a luckier leader with such understanding dongsaengs._

He snaps out of his thoughts when Jaehwan lets go of him. His tears had dried up already and he looked rather calm. "How are you feeling?" Hakyeon asks with a soft voice. "Like trash, but relieved since you didn't kill me." he chuckles as he leans his back against the wall. Hakyeon does the same and sighs. "I would never kill you. I might hit you sometimes because you ask for it when you're extremely hyper but I'd never kill you." Jaehwan just chuckles, having lost count of the amount of times he received a slap or punch from Hakyeon when he went too far.

"I've been wondering about something else too.. Since I'm.." he pauses, still having to get used to the fact that he can now say this around Hakyeon. "Gay.. things are different for me. Like I won't be able to date anyone due to the risk of being exposed and I have no idea how sex works for two men. Scrap that, I know exactly how it works but I don't see myself, you know.." he says, diving straight into a conversation he's never had with anyone else and he wishes he hadn't brought it up in the first place. Hakyeon snorts but smiles reassuringly at Jaehwan to show he's not making fun of him. "Hey, don't worry. I'm always here to help, even with those type of things. I myself haven't dated anyone ever since I entered this industry with the knowledge of being bisexual. I have, however, had sex with both men and women in the years towards being an idol and after our debut. The first time is scary but if you're with the right guy, he'll guide you through it and you'll be glad you did it." he says, obviously speaking from his own experience. Jaehwan nods and swallows the lump in his throat. He can't help but imagine what it would be like, having sex with another man. He loses himself in his own thoughts and forgets that Hakyeon is still sitting next to him. Hakyeon just watches as Jaehwan wanders off in his thoughts and decides to let him, remembering how scared he was of having sex with another man and how much he hated it after he'd experienced it because of how much it hurt and how rough the guy was with him. He had avoided sex with men for a while after that but eventually couldn't ignore his own needs, giving into his desires. He grew to love it and became very confident, his new confidence even beaming off him when he was on stage. It helped him grow as a person and as an idol.

They sit there in silence for a couple of minutes and Jaehwan finally breaks out of his thoughts. "Jesus Christ, okay." he mumbles. Hakyeon chuckles. "Whatever you imagined, please know even I was scared the first time. I picked the wrong guy though. He was rough and he completely ignored the fact that it was my first time. It hurt and I grew to hate sex with men. The second time it was better but I still wasn't comfortable. The third time was easier and it barely hurt anymore and by the time I received dick up my ass for the fourth time I had grown to love it. Honestly, I prefer being on top but nothing beats the feeling of a dick inside of you." he says, putting in more details than Jaehwan would want and sketching a detailed imagine in his mind. Jaehwan scrunches his nose up, trying to get rid of the imagine. His mind shows him Hakyeon hovering over another guy, thrusting into him and something inside of him wishes it was him underneath Hakyeon. He quickly shakes his head and tries to hide his red ears. He can't think of his eldest hyung like this.

Hakyeon notices his discomfort and smirks. "Tell me when you want to know something, I'll give honest answers. I'm also free for experimenting and the real deal, I don't want you to go out there and dive into the deep unknown with a stranger. I'd never forgive myself if someone hurts you when you're at your most vulnerable." he says, sounding honest and sincere. Jaehwan chokes on his saliva. Hakyeon did not just offer to help him with sex. A nervous feeling settles in the bottom of his stomach and he avoids Hakyeon's gaze. Hakyeon grabs Jaehwan's chin and makes him look at him. "Jaehwan.." he says softly. Jaehwan gulps and lets his eyes wander to Hakyeon's pink lips. He's always loved Hakyeon's lips. And now they're so close it's hard to focus on something else. Hakyeon notices and moves closer, watching as Jaehwan also moves closer. Jaehwan's breath hitches in his throat, his heart races in his chest. The gap between their faces closes and their lips meet. Their lips move over each other, perfectly fitting as if they were made for each other. It feels right.

The kiss turns into something deeper and Jaehwan feels Hakyeon's tongue slide over his bottom lip, asking for entrance. Jaehwan opens his mouth slightly and Hakyeon immediately answers, starting a heated make out session. Jaehwan places one hand on Hakyeon's chest and his other hand makes its way to his thigh. Hakyeon's breath hitches as he feels the hand on his thigh, admiring Jaehwan's courage. Jaehwan shifts to sit even closer to Hakyeon and moves his hand towards his inner thigh. Hakyeon breaks the kiss, not wanting to go any further without knowing exactly what Jaehwan wants and is ready for.

"Jaehwan.. Are you sure you want to do this..?" he asks, panting slightly. Jaehwan nods. "Y-yeah, I mean, we're here now and my curiosity will get the best of me if I don't explore as soon as possible.." he says, his answer being the truth. Hakyeon chuckles, knowing exactly what he's talking about. Jaehwan's the type of person who will eventually look into something he's curious about and the longer it takes, the more willing he is to be less careful.

"I need you to tell me, what exactly do you want to do.. What can I help you with?" Hakyeon asks, holding Jaehwan's hands in his. Jaehwan seems to think for a few seconds and then looks up at Hakyeon with a certain shyness. "I-I want you to fuck me.." he says softly, his ears going red from embarrassment. Hakyeon just smiles, knowing how difficult it is to make these steps. "Let's go to my room then, I have all the stuff we'll need." he says, getting up and dragging Jaehwan with him. Once they leave Jaehwan’s room they make sure no one follows them and Hakyeon decides it’s better if he locks the door to his bedroom so no one can disturb them.

Jaehwan sits down on Hakyeon’s bed, visibly nervous. Hakyeon takes off his shirt, revealing his toned body. Jaehwan has always loved the build of Hakyeon’s body, a dancer’s body.

Jaehwan fidgets with the hem of his shirt and manages to take it off without messing it up. He’s skinny, fragile looking. It’s one of his insecurities but also one of the things he loves about himself. He’s strong but looks like the wind could carry him away if it blew a little too hard.

Hakyeon walks towards Jaehwan and pulls him up and reconnects their lips. He lets his hands roam over Jaehwan’s torso and flicks his nipple with his index finger when he reaches it, making Jaehwan release a surprised noise.

After a while of just kissing Hakyeon can feel Jaehwan grow hard against his thigh and decides it’s time for the next step.

“Can you take off your jeans for me?” he asks in between heavy breaths. Jaehwan nods and wriggles himself out of his jeans, revealing a tent in his boxers. Hakyeon grins, finding it cute how the size of Jaehwan’s cock matches his fragile looking body.

He places his hand on Jaehwan’s hard member and watches as Jaehwan tenses up slightly but then melts into the touch with a gentle sigh. “Let’s make you feel good, alright?” Hakyeon says quietly and in a sweet way, not wanting to scare him off. Jaehwan nods and lets Hakyeon guide him to his bed.

He orders Jaehwan to lie down on his back and takes off his boxers, leaving him completely naked. The cold air hits Jaehwan and goosebumps arise on his skin.

Hakyeon positions himself in between Jaehwan’s legs and bends down so that his nose is nearly touching Jaehwan’s cock. “Have you ever received a blowjob?” he asks, looking up at the insecure boy lying in his bed. He shakes his head. “N-no.. I’ve heard it’s great though, but no..” he says softly, all usual fire and hype gone from his voice. Hakyeon chuckles. “Let me show you how it’s done.” he says. “How- ah!” Jaehwan begins but gets cut off by Hakyeon licking a stripe up his length.

Jaehwan feels alien, this experience with another man being an entirely new and foreign thing. He doesn’t get much room for his own thoughts though as Hakyeon takes the tip of Jaehwan’s member in his mouth and sucks on it softly. Hakyeon, being a veteran in the field, lets Jaehwan’s cock slide into his mouth, taking the full length in without showing as much of a gag reflex. Jaehwan gasps loudly, the feeling of Hakyeon’s warm mouth around him being wonderful.

His body involuntarily jerks up at the feeling of his tip touching the back of Hakyeon’s throat, catching Hakyeon off guard slightly, making him gag a little. He places his hands on Jaehwan’s thighs and rubs loving circles into his skin, trying to calm him down.

As soon as Jaehwan has relaxed again, Hakyeon moves his head back up, releasing the tip with a popping sound. “You taste nice.” he says, hoping it would make Jaehwan feel a bit more at ease. Jaehwan feels heat rising to his cheeks and he looks to the side. “T-thanks, I guess?” he says awkwardly. Hakyeon chuckles and decides to get back to what he was doing.

He takes Jaehwan’s full member back in his mouth again but this time he moves his head up and down at a steady pace, sucking his cheeks in a little for friction. Jaehwan’s breath hitches in his throat and for the first time ever he moans at the touch of someone else, the sound incredibly sweet to Hakyeon’s ears. He feels his own cock throb in his jeans but ignores it, continuing to suck Jaehwan off.

“H-Hakyeon, I’m close.” Jaehwan mutters after a while, having held up longer than Hakyeon was expecting he would. Hakyeon gives him a last few sucks and then let’s go off Jaehwan’s member. He looks into Jaehwan’s eyes and smiles. “I-I.. That was.. nice.” Jaehwan says softly, afraid that admitting it would be some sort of crime. “Trust me, this is nothing compared to actual sex.” Hakyeon says as he winks. Jaehwan blushes and seems to think about something. “What’s on your mind? If you want me to stop here, I can. I don’t want to rush you into this.” Hakyeon says, clarifying again that he only wants to do what Jaehwan tells him to do. “Where do you have your lube? I know how to prep myself..” Jaehwan says shyly.

He’s not new to the whole pleasing himself thing. He has jerked himself off and fucked his own fingers but he never got around to having sex with an actual person. Hakyeon nods and hovers over Jaehwan as he reaches for his nightstand. Jaehwan can’t help but stare at his toned chest and he lets his index finger slide over the lines of Hakyeon’s abs, who in return flexes them for him. “They’re nice huh?” he says teasingly, trying to get rid of the tension that’s building in the small room with each second passing. “Y-yes.” is all Jaehwan can say to that because yes, they’re very nice. Hakyeon moves back to where he was in between Jaehwan’s legs and hands the little bottle to him. Jaehwan sits up a little with his back against the backboard of Hakyeon’s bed and spreads his legs so that his feet are off the bed and he has easier access to his ass.

He squirts a fair amount of lube onto three of his finger and makes eye contact with Hakyeon, who watches his every move. Being watched makes him feel a little nervous but as soon as he inserts a first finger into himself, his worries leave his system. “Ah..” he gasps, moving his finger in and out of himself as he closes his eyes. Because he does this fairly often, he doesn’t need long before he’s ready for another finger. He slides it in next to the other one and hisses at the stretch. He gets so into fingering himself that he doesn’t even notice Hakyeon taking off his remaining clothes. When he opens his eyes he sees how Hakyeon is jerking himself off and he bites his lip. Hakyeon’s big. It brings back a bit of nerves and anxiety. This is most certainly going to hurt. “You’re gorgeous like this, do you know that?” Hakyeon says, his voice strained from trying to hold back any sounds. Jaehwan just blushes and inserts a third finger into himself. “A-ah!” He can’t help but moan, a bit of pain hiding in it, the stretch being quite something at this point. It’s necessary if he wants to take Hakyeon fully. He feels Hakyeon’s hand on his thigh and he looks up into his eyes. “Don’t hurt yourself, we don’t have to do this now, we can take our time building you up to this moment..” he says, having noticed the struggle Jaehwan was dealing with. He just shakes his head. “N-no, I want this. I’m alright. I’m almost ready.” he says as he moves his fingers in and out of himself, feeling how it keeps getting a little easier with each time.

After a few minutes Jaehwan decides that he’s ready and Hakyeon puts on a condom. “Better be safe than sorry. I’m fairly sure I don’t carry anything, but you never know.” is his explanation. Jaehwan chuckles, Hakyeon is doing his best to keep the tension at bay. Jaehwan makes himself comfortable and watches as Hakyeon rubs a generous amount of lube onto his cock. “Ready when you are.” he says when he’s done. Jaehwan releases a shaky sigh and nods, his entire body shaking slightly with nerves. “I’m ready.” he says and he prepares himself for the burn.

Hakyeon lines himself up at Jaehwan’s entrance and pushes the tip in. Jaehwan gasps but doesn’t show any signs that he’s not okay so Hakyeon continues. He pushes himself in further and watches as Jaehwan’s jaw drops and his breathing hitches in his throat. “O-oh fuck. That hurts.” he says, tears pricking in his eyes. “Do you want me to stop and pull out?” Hakyeon asks, worried for Jaehwan’s safety. Jaehwan shakes his head. “N-no, I’m okay. I have to get through this.” With that being said he places his hand behind Hakyeon’s head and presses his lips onto his. He hopes the kiss will distract him from the pain. Hakyeon continues to push himself into Jaehwan, who moans into his mouth. He never knew that Jaehwan would sound so sweet and innocent.

Jaehwan can’t help it but tears start streaming down his cheeks. Hakyeon doesn’t notice until Jaehwan sniffles and he breaks the kiss instantly. “Baby..” he says before he wipes the tears from Jaehwan’s cheeks. “It’s okay, I’m okay. Please fill me up, you’re so big, please.” he almost begs. He wants to get rid of the pain, he wants the pleasure. Hakyeon nods and pushes himself in fully in one swift move, causing Jaehwan to cry out. He hates seeing him in pain and this time is no different. “F-fuck.. Oh fuck..” Jaehwan sobs, the burning feeling threatening to take over. Hakyeon cups his face with his hands and whispers sweet nothings to him.

He does this until Jaehwan has stopped crying and has relaxed enough to continue. “Can I move?” he asks, not wanting to do anything before getting permission to do so. Jaehwan inhales deeply and nods. Hakyeon starts moving his cock in and out of Jaehwan very slowly, watching every little frown and movement on Jaehwan’s face. He’s clearly in pain but is trying hard not to show Hakyeon.

When he’s sure Jaehwan has gotten used to his size for as far as that’s possible during the first time he increases his pace. Jaehwan releases a high pitched moan and turns a deep shade of red afterwards. Hakyeon smiles. “Don’t be ashamed of the sounds you make, you sound so beautiful, you have no idea.” he says, melting a little when Jaehwan smiles a little.

This goes on for a while until Jaehwan can feel the burning sensation turn into pleasure. “H-Hakyeon, can you go faster?” he asks with the same shy voice as before they started. Hakyeon answers by suddenly snapping his hips into Jaehwan, causing him to choke on a moan. “H- oh! Yes, yes! That’s it!” he says, fisting the sheets in his hands. Hakyeon feels like a proud mom, his boy all grown up and enjoying sex. Although that’s kind of weird seeing as he himself is fucking him. Hakyeon feels dizzy, dizzy from how tight Jaehwan feels around him, dizzy from the sounds Jaehwan is producing and dizzy from seeing his fragile body squirm underneath him. He ducks down and presses sloppy kisses on Jaehwan’s neck and collarbone. Jaehwan moans with every trust, every moan pushing Hakyeon that much further to his climax.

Beads of sweat form on both of them, the temperature in the room rising and all the sounds they make filling the space. Jaehwan feels a certain feeling in his body, a feeling all too familiar. “Hakyeon.. I-I’m close..” he moans in between pants. Hakyeon apparently feels the same thing. “Me too, love, me too.” he says before wrapping his hand around Jaehwan’s leaking cock. Jaehwan inhales sharply, not having expected him to do that. He enters a new sort of heaven when Hakyeon begins to jerk him off at the same speed he’s thrusting into him. The knot in Jaehwan’s stomach builds with each second passing and not long after he feels himself come undone. “O-oh god, H-Hakyeon! I’m gonn-“ he nearly yells but he can’t finish his sentence. His orgasm catches him off guard and he squirts over his stomach and Hakyeon’s hand with a loud moan. The feeling of Jaehwan tensing his muscles around Hakyeon’s cock appear to be too much for him as he comes undone barely seconds after. His moan is low and dragged out, almost like a grunt. Jaehwan revels in it.

Both men are panting and covered with sweat. Hakyeon rides out both their orgasms and pulls himself out when it’s enough. He drops himself next to Jaehwan, who rolls on his side to look at him. They exchange smiles and Jaehwan presses a small kiss onto Hakyeon’s lips. “Thank you..” he says after pulling away. “For what?” Hakyeon asks, not seeing why he would need to be thanked.

“For showing me what a great leader is.”

**Author's Note:**

> jdjsj I hope you enjoyed it  
> I honestly don’t like how I’ve written this but pls bear with me
> 
> English is not my native language either so if I’ve made any mistakes, please let me know!
> 
> my twitter is @softtjaehwan for the ones who want to know lol


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